(Originally posted Feb.10th, 2011)
The arena of puerility is vast and competitive. In recent years, stupid has become big business in this country and other parts of the world. In fact, it’s become highly bankable. There are a lot of stupid people with stupid things to say, who have stupid-high ratings and/or devout, fatuous fan bases. Not to be presumptuous, but I think we can all agree the population of stupids has been burgeoning in recent memory, and we’re seemingly overrun with them now. We are, in fact, because stupid is reaching its evolutionary apex. And for the time being, as has found a nurturing father in Bill O’Reilly.
Now, it’s disputable as to who the true heavyweight champ of stupid truly is. Really, it seems like the baton is being tossed to a different simpleton at a dizzying rate. But nobody, not Michael Steele, not Bristol Palin, not even Christina Aguilera, has a higher rate of batshit consistency than The Culture Warrior. And now, sheer disregard to the balance of the universe, he’s pushed the envelope to a level of sheer folly, likely to never be topped again for at least two weeks.
While reading these quotes, disregard the fact that this is a 62 year old obstinate jerk. Also, forget that he has no manners, no logic, and suffers from indescribable xenophobia. Maybe it’s best to imagine this is coming from a young child who still knows nothing of the complexities of existence, that might keep your head from caving in after reading this. Here’s Bill remarking on how his basic misunderstanding of everything proves the existence of God. Enjoy.
“Ok, how’d the moon get there? How’d the moon get there? You pinheads who attack me, you guys are just desperate….How’d the sun get there? How’d it get there? Can you explain that to me? How come we have that and Mars doesn’t have it? Venus doesn’t have it. How come? Why not? How’d it get here? How did that little amoeba get out here? How’d it do it? Come on. You have order in this universe, tide goes in, tide goes out. Ok, sure, the moon does it, fine. How’d the moon get there? Who put it there? Did it just happen? If we have existence, if we have life here on Earth, how come they don’t have it on the other planets? Were we just lucky? Some meteor do this? You know, I see this stuff as desperate. Many times it takes more faith to not believe, and to think that this is all luck, all this human body and the intricacies of it and everything else, all luck….(confused shoulder shrug….than it does to believe in a deity. There you go.”
The great Philosopher of our time hath been discovered!
Firstly, I will give him credit for understanding the basic principles of lunar gravity, at least he’s open to that smidge of science. Otherwise, this is just the most adorable rhetoric of a simpleton in quite some time. He somehow manages to reduce hundreds of millions of years and a completely unfathomable process of evolution into a planet popping into existence, wherein a lucky amoeba crawled on shore, grew arms and an anus, and wrote the bible. And nevermind that the universe is has billions of stars and trillions of planets, and is theoretically full of life under numerous but suitable conditions.
But Bill isn’t buying it. He hears all this and all that registers is blah blah blah abortion blah blah Reagan. Bill O’Reilly defies you to throw your best science at him. Think he’s at all impressed by Stephen Hawking? You, pinhead, are sadly mistaken.
To be continued…
The arena of puerility is vast and competitive. In recent years, stupid has become big business in this country and other parts of the world. In fact, it’s become highly bankable. There are a lot of stupid people with stupid things to say, who have stupid-high ratings and/or devout, fatuous fan bases. Not to be presumptuous, but I think we can all agree the population of stupids has been burgeoning in recent memory, and we’re seemingly overrun with them now. We are, in fact, because stupid is reaching its evolutionary apex. And for the time being, as has found a nurturing father in Bill O’Reilly.
Now, it’s disputable as to who the true heavyweight champ of stupid truly is. Really, it seems like the baton is being tossed to a different simpleton at a dizzying rate. But nobody, not Michael Steele, not Bristol Palin, not even Christina Aguilera, has a higher rate of batshit consistency than The Culture Warrior. And now, sheer disregard to the balance of the universe, he’s pushed the envelope to a level of sheer folly, likely to never be topped again for at least two weeks.
While reading these quotes, disregard the fact that this is a 62 year old obstinate jerk. Also, forget that he has no manners, no logic, and suffers from indescribable xenophobia. Maybe it’s best to imagine this is coming from a young child who still knows nothing of the complexities of existence, that might keep your head from caving in after reading this. Here’s Bill remarking on how his basic misunderstanding of everything proves the existence of God. Enjoy.
“Ok, how’d the moon get there? How’d the moon get there? You pinheads who attack me, you guys are just desperate….How’d the sun get there? How’d it get there? Can you explain that to me? How come we have that and Mars doesn’t have it? Venus doesn’t have it. How come? Why not? How’d it get here? How did that little amoeba get out here? How’d it do it? Come on. You have order in this universe, tide goes in, tide goes out. Ok, sure, the moon does it, fine. How’d the moon get there? Who put it there? Did it just happen? If we have existence, if we have life here on Earth, how come they don’t have it on the other planets? Were we just lucky? Some meteor do this? You know, I see this stuff as desperate. Many times it takes more faith to not believe, and to think that this is all luck, all this human body and the intricacies of it and everything else, all luck….(confused shoulder shrug….than it does to believe in a deity. There you go.”
The great Philosopher of our time hath been discovered!
Firstly, I will give him credit for understanding the basic principles of lunar gravity, at least he’s open to that smidge of science. Otherwise, this is just the most adorable rhetoric of a simpleton in quite some time. He somehow manages to reduce hundreds of millions of years and a completely unfathomable process of evolution into a planet popping into existence, wherein a lucky amoeba crawled on shore, grew arms and an anus, and wrote the bible. And nevermind that the universe is has billions of stars and trillions of planets, and is theoretically full of life under numerous but suitable conditions.
But Bill isn’t buying it. He hears all this and all that registers is blah blah blah abortion blah blah Reagan. Bill O’Reilly defies you to throw your best science at him. Think he’s at all impressed by Stephen Hawking? You, pinhead, are sadly mistaken.
To be continued…
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